UPDATE on 10 Happy Faces vs. 5 Sad Faces!

UPDATE:  While I was on my way to the supermarket this morning I got a call from the school nurse about Michael having a splinter in his finger and he WOULD NOT let her take it out so I had to detour to the school.  So after playing dr at the nurses office and getting Michael safely in his classroom I went and looked for the special ed case manager for the boys to discuss this 5 sad faces issue that was still bugging the shit out of me!!  I have her in the hallway and I say to her "You know what I have been thinking about this all weekend and I don't think it's fair to any of the kids in that room to have a rule change to suit her needs and set all those kids up for complete failure.  I am espically concerned about all the kaios in her classroom.  We are right outside Michael's classroom and you can't hear those kids breathing but we are now standing 20 feet from her class and what I hear is them carrying on like kids will when there is NO AUTHORITY!!  If she doesn't control her classroom that's her fault, NOT MY SON'S!!  5 sad faces a month means that in any given month they can go to school up to 20 days and if he gets 15 happy faces YAY for him .... BUUUUUUTTTT if he gets 5 sad faces so he can't come to the party???  So the negative SEVERELY OUTWEIGHS the positive here!!  My son should come to school in a positive environment.  That classroom is not condusive to his learning style but it is most certainly condusive to her teaching style.  I think he needs a calmer learning environment such as Ms. D's classroom so he will succeed!"

She says "well if we switch him, he will still have consequences in any class we put him in.  Also if we DO put him in Ms. D's classroom they very rarely have parties."

So I said "You know what he would go into that classroom knowing that whether he gets happy or sad faces...no parties means no parties FOR EVERYBODY, not just HIM!!!!  He won't be working SO HARD only to be told at the end of the month that he CAN'T attend a birthday party because he got 5 sad faces that month when he got 15 happy faces!!  It's SHEER NEGATIVITY and it sets ALL those kids up for EPIC FAILURE!!"
I was ready to switch him until he came out and said this to me "Mommy I like Ms. V's classroom and I am brave enough to handle it.  Please Mommy I know you want what's best for me but I really wanna stay where I am for now.  I get happy faces in her classroom and I love Ms. V!"

Of course I melted and because he asked me NOT to move him, he remains in her classroom but I PROMISED that if he came home and complained about the kaios in that room again and he says "Mommy, I can't take it" HE'S OUTTA THERE!!!

After all was said and done his behavior specialist came to me and said that the notice was NEVER meant for CJ....it was meant for the kaiotic kids in the classroom!  She would NEVER UN-include him in a birthday celebration and she totally understands why I would be reacting the way I was and is truly sorry I took it the way I did.  She FULLY understands what is going on at home with CJ and she gives him as much breathing room as she can to help him succeed in the classroom.

BTW, he has been getting happy faces for the majority of this month in school!!  I am so proud of my BRAVE BOY!!