Thursday, October 13, 2011

Could be time for transition?

Pita's nurse was just here and I explained how tired he was all the time and his lack of fluid and food intake and his continued loss of quality of life and she said he could be getting ready to transition to full hospice care.  Hard to hear those words but I just want what's best for him.  I don't want him to suffer anymore in any way.  I want him CURED and I can't have it!!  This kills me to see my husband this way, suffering day by day, no longer working at the 1 job he truly loved, NOT living his life on HIS terms!!!  Why can't cancer get cancer, suffer for years and DIE??!!!  I just don't understand why it has to be my Pita!!  I am exhausted from just watching him suffer the way he is.  He can't even move in his bed without experiencing any pain. 

I go to bed every night and ask GOD to ease his suffering somehow but I think he didn't hear me and someone took the message but forgot to give it to him.  So I sit and wait to be heard!

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