Tuesday, October 18, 2011

10/18/11 Tuesday morning!

Boys were suppose to be picked up at 8:03am ... it's 9:40 and still no bus!!  So I had planned on going to welfare today to apply for food stamps and I don't think I am going to be able to make it early enough to get home at a reasonable time!  GGGRRR  Why did this have to happen today?

Once they are on the bus I will make Pita some breakfast and bring it to him and spend a little time with him if he wants me to.  I am trying to get as much time in with him as possible.  I also have to wait for the Hospice nurse to call and set up a time to come out and visit.  I hope someone calls today to set something up today.

I could barely sleep last night because I kept thinking "did I make the right decision?  Is he going to hate me for this?  How is this going to affect the kids?  Will they grow up and think that I killed their Dad?"  So many questions and I know I made an "out of love" decision but still it's so hard!


  1. Jeanne,,, you made the most loving and devoted decision you could have, especially if this had been discussed earlier. The hospice staff will help all of you understand and emotionally work through this process.
    It is one of the hardest things to have to decide.. but you have to respect his wishes as well.
    Your boys are lucky because you are not sugar coating or hiding anything from them... you are talking to them and being straightforward without scaring them.
    This will help everyone to feel comfortable to vocalize their fears and concerns and not feel silly.


  2. Thanks Bren! All I can do is keep thinking that this isn't the end so much as it is a new beginning for Pita as well as for the boys and myself. I don't think I have ever had to make such a grown up decision in my entire life.