Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry Christmas my love!

Well I made it through without one tear.  We went to Pegs yesterday afternoon and we were home by 6:30.  When we were on the train coming home Michael got VERY SAD because he missed you.  He kept saying he missed you and Aunt Peggy.  He is REALLY worried that she is going to get cancer and die like you did and that makes him EXTREMELY SAD!!

I had a lot of stuff to do before today.  Got almost everything done but it just wasn’t the same without you here.  I was too busy to be sad though.  Having to do it for the boys kept me busy.  I know you would have wanted the boys to have a fabulous Christmas regardless!  I have to tell you honestly that if the boys never were, I’d have locked the friggin door, never let anyone in and NOT celebrated anything this holiday season!!  It just doesn’t seem Christmasy to me without you.  I just wanted to have you hear with me, putting the gifts under the tree alone was the hardest!!  Not that I couldn’t do it, but that you always did it!!

THANK GOODNESS it’s over.  I will not be sad at all to see 2011 pass.  I’m not looking forward to 2012 but it certainly can’t be any worse then this year was for me!!  I lost too much already…what more can they take from me??  The day you left this world, I lost just about my entire life.  I have to redirect my focus on the boys where it needs to be.  I would give anything to have you back in my life for just a few hours.

Tomorrow we are going to your Aunt Alice’s for lunch.  The first time ever the boys and I have ever been there.  Hopefully it won’t be the last.  She is a sweet lady and I enjoy talking to her.

So I am going to sign off for now because I got up VERY EARLY and been on the go ever since and I am EXHAUSTED!!  Merry Christmas my love, I Love You!!  831!

No comments:

Post a Comment