Sunday 10/9/11 Happy Birthday PITA!

So my husband has been a cancer patient since the end of May 09 when he had his left kidney removed due to the discovery of a grapefruit sized malignant tumor.  They decided to take his entire kidney and help in his quick recovery instead of chancing him getting worse if they just removed the tumor.  Thankfully he quickly recovered and was back at work by early July that same year.

Time went on and he was his same self again thinking "I got this beat and don't have to follow up with dr's because they took the cancer out of my body!"  WRONG!!

On December 301st 2010, he started throwing up blood and we rushed him to the hospital where they did CAT scans and diagnosed him with pneumonia.  The scans were sent to his former oncologist who found out after carefully reading the scans that his cancer had spread to his lungs and he was now in Stage 4.

Even though his situation is incurable and inoperable there was a tiny % of hope that with the latest treatment that was offered, he would be able to survive a few years.  The dr feverishly set up all sorts of testing to make sure he was a good candidate for the new treatment.

The day before his treatment was to begin he had an MRI done on his brain and the results were RUSHED over to his oncologist who read them just before he was to receive his first treatment.

Well let's just say THANK GOD he did because if he had received just 1 treatment, his brain would have swelled and he would have died right there.  The oncologist found that not only had his cancer spread to his lungs but also to his brain.  So a new treatment plan had to be considered for survival.  They opted for radiation treatment to treat the tumor on the brain and the latest in chemo drugs to treat the lungs.

Suffering through 2 weeks of radiation treatments for the brain tumor and being completely miserable the entire time, he completed it and was better within a few weeks after his last treatment.  The day after his last RT his hair began to fall out in large clumps.  I ended up shaving all his hair off because he wanted me too.
The chemo drugs he was taking were found out to be working in some areas of the lungs and not in others.  The cancer was spreading.  They did another MRI on his brain and found out that his tumor had appeared larger and decided to do Gamma Knife to treat the brain.  Shortly after his GK treatment they found that it worked....his tumor was considerably smaller.  They switched him to a new chemo drug and he was fine for a lil bit.

Keep in mind that from the time he started the RT, chemo drug therapy as well as the GKT, he wasn't eating the way he should to keep his muscle mass up for his body to fight.  He suffered terribly with constipation and severe pain, fatigue and weakness.
With the new chemo drug he still wasn't eating the way he should...he would go days without food.  He was still constipated....going up to 5 to 7 days between movements, he was dehydrated because he was drinking little to no fluids each day.  He was so tired and weak that he could hardly get out of bed most days.  It took me 2 1/2 weeks to convince him as well as the dr's that he needed hospital care

Long story short on 10/3/11 that night he finally went to the ER, it took 3 of us almost two hours to convince him he needed to go NOW or he'd be a corpse by morning!  The finally admitted him and ran all sorts of tests and x-rays.  They found that he now had cancer in one of his adrenal glands that has been there for quite some time but was never discovered.  The severe fatigue and weakness was from the adrenal glands failure to produce his hormone to keep him from being tired and weak.  They also found him to be SEVERELY dehydrated as well as having hypercalcemia...elevated calcium.

I went up and talked to the dr's and nurses and demanded that he have a home health care nurse and a hospital bed for better comfort which could also assist in pain management.
He was given lots of tests and new meds and he was doing well enough to come home Friday 10/7/11.

He has been doing ok since he got home but something is now more noticable then before.  He has had trouble thinking for a few months now but I now believe he  is starting to have the beginning stages of dementia.  He has been telling me things have happened that NEVER happened, he asked me 7 times yesterday if I was going to pick up the boys from school and I told him each time "Honey, it's Saturday.  The boys don't go to school on weekends"  Last night before he went to bed he asked me if the boys were going to school tomorrow and I said "No, it's Sunday and they are off Monday for Columbus Day also."  Today I had to go up to his room and fix his remote control to his tv.  He has had the same remote for 7++ years and he simply forgot how to work it.  He was getting very frustrated at me because he kept asking me for the guide and it was in front of him.  I would also show him where the buttons were and again, he would get frustrated because he was demanding what was already in front of him.

I noticed that when we went to give him his birthday breakfast in bed this morning, he kept looking at the boys as if he didn't know who they were for a few seconds.

I keep praying that GOD ease my husband's suffering somehow.  I ask him to cure him or take him.  I know that is wrong to ask GOD to take a person you are suppose to love but truth be told, death for him would be so much better then what he is going through now.  At least in death there would be no more suffering and no more pain and he would finally be at peace.  I have told his family repeatedly that I am ready to give him up to GOD if I have to but I DO NOT want my kids to have to give him up!  That is the hardest part.

I am starting to believe this entire thing was dumped in my life because I need to learn something but I am not entirely sure what that something is!!  Maybe someday I will know what my lesson is here and pay it forward.  In the mean time, I have to take care of my dear husband, my kids and I need to start taking better care of myself or I will be in a hospital bed dying next!