Boys Grief Counselor to visit today

So The Hospice Child Grief Counselor Ms. J is coming today to meet with the boys.  I hope they are comfortable with her enough to open up to her like they open up to me.  The good news is she is willing to work with the boys Wrap Around Team in order to support them through all of this the best way we all can.

Pita's bedside commode, urinal, walker and gel foam memory mattress was finally delivered yesterday evening and he seems more comfortable in the mattress.  He hasn't used the urinal, commode and he doesn't even know about the walker just yet so I don't know if he will EVEN use the walker.  He should because he is quite wobbly and can get very confused often enough to warrent use of a walker.  I will bring the walker up to him sometime today and see how he feels.  It may take him time to warm up to it same with the commode and urinal. 

I know what his issue is right now.  He still wants to be in control of himself so he is choosing NOT to use the medical equipment that we got him for ease and he is slowly coming to terms with the fact that he is quickly losing control of himself.  We have to give him time to come to terms with his loss of control on his own.  Unfortunately that may take a very long time.  I can imagine how difficult that would be for anyone who is in total control of EVERY ASPECT of their life to suddenly NOT have that control and it's not only a physical adjustment for them but more so a mental one as well which is worse then physical for them.

He continues to decline mentally.  Now referring to himself in the 3rd person, can't form full sentences or hold a conversation without getting confused, has difficulty remembering the kids, thinks we have more kids then we have and suffers from short term memory loss.

His physical declines continue as well.  He suffers with continued extreme weight loss, loss of appetite with little food or fluid intake, his complexion is totally off almost as if he has a yellow tint to his skin, he is extremely weak and always suffering with excessive fatigue, loss of balance and his equal librium is off.

In some strange way it is getting easier to care for him but still extremely difficult to watch him decline so rapidly.  I have this feeling deep inside me that he may not be with us for Christmas which is 63 days away!